E very morning, at the absolute crack of dawn, I watch Paw Patrol on Netflix. This is because, while my son snaps to full-beam attention the very instant he wakes up, I need a few minutes to compose myself. I spent so long frantically denying the existence of Paw Patrol to him. But a line was crossed while my back was turned, and now my kid has bought into Paw Patrol wholesale. Ryder — who lives in a glass tower high above the civilised world — has coerced a team of five puppies into providing the sole emergency services for his city. These puppies can talk, and they call him Sir. Twenty years from now when a grownup fan makes a knowing Paw Patrol revival movie, Ryder will be depicted as a cackling maniac with an unstoppable God complex, but for now all this is implied.

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